Thursday, May 22, 2014

Words As It Should Be Read.

(Written on Wednesday, almost midnight)

Be warned, mortals. A long post awaits you. 

Hey there! :)

It's almost 12 am now. Exams are finally over (more on that later..) and well, FREEDOM.

I've finally finished the Mark Of Athena (after dragging on for so long, and stopping to sniff at other books) and started on the House Of Hades today. I'm on page 364 of 597 pages now :) Reading as slowly as I can to savor all the details. Just realized I turned off my phone (o_o) oops. I'm on a reading roll.
 I feel as though I want to read forever.
 This describes what I did after school *lessthanthree* Best lazy day ever.

This was me *Sheepish expression*'

My Week So Far..

Last Sunday:

     I went to church, despite feeling lazy because I promised myself I would make an effort to.  Accidentally wore too much eyeliner *Facepalm* I wasn't thinking straight when I put it on. Entered the fellowship hall, and it was so cold :3 It felt nice. Saw Joy, Sam, Jezreel and Isaac. Stayed there for a while and flipped through the Son Of Neptune, but I couldn't read or focus on anything because I was worried about Add Maths, urgh.

    We walked to the main hall and Joy decided to go to the shops. I had to wait for Meg. She finally arrived and we went to the balcony, saw Jezreel and said "Don't you usually go for Youth on Sundays when it's on?" He looked surprised and said "Ohh, noooo." I kinda assumed the guys go for Youth, idk why :P Joy showed up, but ditched me for Josh Wong because he had one of The Mortal Instruments books, presumably the first one. I would have probably done the same if someone had a book I liked, HAHA.

   Meg asked me if I had any sweets (someone once told me, I'm like a sweetshop -_-) and I said "No, ask Joy..she just came back from the shops." So Meg gestured at her and whispered/said "Joy, do you have sweet?" but Joy couldn't hear what she was saying, so Meg and I kept repeating it. Jezreel snorted and said "Joy, so sweet." We stared at him and started laughing. Joy passed Meg some sour Skittles, then Jezreel said "Joy so sour." We started laughing really quietly, because that was pretty funny and illogical :P I remember having a funny conversation about tanned skin and pale skin. (Not that we're racist or anything) It's just one of those things you notice about people. Service ended surprisingly fast that day.

   It was drizzling when we went to the foyer, and I thought "Shoots, eyeliner." , had a mental image of eyeliner running down my cheeks and thought "Flipping blueberries." I should probably check weather reports before thinking about wearing eyeliner on rainy days. Still had to walk in the drizzle (else no food for me) so I did, and used a flimsy file to cover my eyes, lol. Asked someone to order chicken rice for me on my behalf and went to the shops to buy sweets.

   Here's a weird thing about me, if you ask me to order food at fast food restaurants, food courts, or the mamak, I'll have no problem with it, but if you ask me to order food in Chinese restaurants, I won't. Hardly. Ever. Do it by myself. Why? Because when me, the banana, speaks to them in BM/English, they always reply in Mandarin and my tongue goes numb and my mind can't think of anything to say. Basically, I chicken out. Walked to the shop, wondered why I was there, and then remembered I meant to photostat the Pow Wow checklist which I idiotically left in the restaurant *Slap self*.

   The guys showed us a weird what the grapes video, and I wanted to laugh hysterically and snort in disgust at the same time. I saw the selfie Joy and I took on Enrique's phone the day of the Master/Maestrochef competition. I think it was then, because I wasn't wearing eyeliner like I always do :P (Yeah, my life revolves around the days I use eyeliner, and the days I don't, obviously). I asked Enrique to recite the Christian pledge (okay, not everyone knows we actually do have one) and he recited the Malaysian pledge.

    Then he asked me if I speak BM, I put on a straight face and said I only speak one language...because I'm an Ocean. I kept spacing out and just staring blankly at the road after I finished eating.... Exams was bothering me. Also, whatsapp-ed people because everyone else was on their phones (almost everyone) and I thought it'd be weird if I decided to pull out my book and start reading. Okay, I didn't feel like reading, sigh. Had a funny conversation with someone about pulling people into recycling bins and actually choked on my Chinese tea from laughing.

   Someone came over and asked us to help him push his car because it wouldn't move. Some of the guys just left their stuff on the table in the restaurant (no one looking after it) and went to push the car. Me, Joy and Meg just stood there, whooped, cheered and yelled encouragements. Almost everyone went home to study, so hardworking, yikes.. Went to the pharmacy with Meg, chatted with the pharmacist about plans after SPM after I bought something for dad.

   Walked back to the church and initially wanted to hang out in the foyer. But it was so hot and stuffyyyyy. Couldn't stand it anymore, so I suggested going to the fellowship hall to help with the Pow Wow tent checking. When we got there, Daniel (I refuse to call him commander now *evil laugh*) scolded us for being late, but I wasn't really listening to him because I'm used to teachers' ranting at me (and my class) in school, so I spaced off and absentmindedly murmured "Okay, yeah, umm." And along comes Stephen, and we got another scolding about being late and setting a bad example. We started helping to pitch tents, check them and dismantle them. Stephen came by again and apologized, saying he hope he didn't offend us. We just laughed and said it's okay.

   After everything was finally sorted out, we sat around and listened to Stephen telling "horror" stories of injuries people get in training camps (He's usually the first-aider) and making us laugh by sharing all the weird stuff. After Meg went home, I talked to Stephen about ANTC (Advanced National Training Camp) and said that I don't plan on going. He said there's a long waiting list, and I was like "Whattt..a training camp has a waiting list?" Apparently, there are a ton of leaders who haven't gone because the last ANTC was 10 years ago, wow. Nat/Stephen offered to send me home because dad was still in a meeting, but dad said he could fetch :D Went to buy lekor, pick up Ryan from Aeon and came home.

   Oh, and apparently, I mumble when I speak. Not to say that I speak unintelligible sentences where no one understands a word I'm saying, but I sound like I'm mumbling because I speak softly and my tone doesn't change (-_-) Why has no one ever told me this before? I actually, say "Mumble mumble.." when I'm bored or when things are too quiet or awkward, but I never realized that I literally mumble *Facepalm* Asked a few people if I mumble, most of them said "You do..." stares at my what-the-cauliflower expression and adds "I thought you knew." I don't know why I speak softly either, Dutch relatives maybe? Since they're so soft-spoken compared to us Malaysians :P But still...mumbling. For durian's sake. I wish I could speak like I type. 

And guess what? I gave almost everyone the Pow Wow checklist, and forgot to keep one for myself (-_-) Genius. As always.


     Add Maths papers (four and a half hours in total, blegh!) Dapple said I look like I was going to cry, and I did..during the paper because I kept thinking "Scumbag mathematics, scumbag additional mathematics, scumbag brain, scumbag Maine" and the stress just got to me. My test pad is almost finished, and it was unused when the exams started (o_o)    
     I didn't even remember learning a lot of the chapters and I couldn't do a lot of questions. Hello, flunk grade. Supposed to study during recess but Vemlan and Illanghovan joined Dapple and me, so we got distracted. Vemlan high-fived Dapple really hard and she said it hurts. He high-fived me but after a brief sting, my hand just went numb, LOL. My pain tolerance is weird. During the second paper, I kept exchanging "We're doomed" expressions with Karthik and felt a horrible urge to laugh/die. Went to Burger King after school :3 So delicious.


   ICT paper was okay. Meaning that we actually knew what we were doing. Intended to study before recess, but Mee En (can't get used to papaya) and Dapple got crazy and I got crazy and basically we all went crazy. Started laughing a lot and talking about funny conversations we have. Karthik and Vemlan asked why we say things like "Bloated durian", "Freaking blueberry" and etc, so Dapple started explaining and I thought (again) of how weird it sounds to people who don't get it. We talked about fruit nicknames; Daiyana: Dapple, Me: Banana, Vemlan: Watermelon (kinda forgot about that) and Karthik..didn't have one. He didn't want to choose one also :( Okay, don't join the weird family.

   The guys suddenly started blabbering in Tamil (which I don't understand..) and Dapple said something jumbled like "" I blinked and said "Say what?" She tried to explain, but I just got more confused. Then *lightbulb* "Who do you like? A chinese guy?" I thought they were asking her -__- If you're asking me, don't speak in Tamil lah. Pssh. And why do you assume it'd be a Chinese guy? I ain't a racist, bro. English teacher gave us 4 essays to do during the holidays. Add Maths teacher gave us work too. Isn't it called holidays for a reason? *flips table* Just kidding. I'm actually excited about doing the essays, HAHA. Add Maths, I'm going to forget you.


     Studied for Chemistry (Paper 3) and read about the experiments. The paper was... not exactly easy, but not well, blank. Haha. Question 3 was relevant to an experiment about Hexane and Hexene which the teacher has never fully explained to us and which we have never done before. So I think a lot of people did that one up to procedure or materials and apparatus. Started talking to Dapple (she "studies" with me), Karthik (he sits next to me..) and Vemlan (he "studies" with him) again after recess. We started talking about relationships, we're all single (but no likes each other that way, lol) I think. I'm pretty sure.

     The fact that Karthik and I were born on 21st of a month, Dapple on the 3rd (multiples of 3). Karthik suddenly asked us what we like about Vemlan. I stared at Vemlan, he started making the "don't say anything" face and gestures; and said "Umm..his hair?" (LOL, dumb banana moment) and Karthik said "No, I mean personality. Attitude." I said "Ohh..I don't know. He's confident? And um....And umm..." Honestly couldn't think of anything more. Really wanted to say "And he makes me want to throw things about him and beat him up with a broom." But I doubt he'd appreciate that statement. They started teasing Dapple about a guy who likes her and begged her to tell them his name, but she wouldn't. And I couldn't. And we didn't.

    I was reading The Lost Hero and studying for PJK (Physical Education) at the same time, and somehow the topic of books we liked came up (and they started trying to make me stop studying) Had a weird Twilight debate with Dapple about why Edward shouldn't be able to reproduce and the logic of Jacob falling for Bella because he "sensed" that she would be the mother of his unborn (at that time, non-existent) mate, or whatever. Yeah, makes total sense :) (No offense, if you like Twilight, it's just illogical to me)

   I asked if anyone has ever confessed their feelings for someone and got accepted/rejected. Dapple and me, have never confessed (because girls are chicken when it comes to admitting their feelings for someone) and the guys said they've done it and got rejected more times than they got accepted (o_o) The guys asked me who I like, I said "I don't know. I'm not sure if I like anyone. Okay, maybe I do. Or don't. IDK." Vemlan said "Really, who's the unlucky guy?" I replied "Don't make me doodle on you with my highlighter, donuthole." (His uniform is all white)

   Vemlan started annoying Dapple, so she threatened to punch him in the face. Everyone was like "Meh, you won't." Because she's seriously not violent, at all. Only scary, when she's being nuts. Vemlan suddenly asked me to punch Karthik, I said "No, I only punch people who annoy me." Pointed glance at him. "And Karthik hasn't annoyed me...yet." Dapple: "YET." I asked Vemlan if I can punch him instead because he is really annoying  and he muttered something to Karthik in Tamil (why do you keep doing this?!) Karthik turned to me and said "He says you dare to punch people in the face." LOL, I can't believe the number of people who perceive me to be a violent person..

    We talked about the fact that it's not easy to find someone you like, who likes you back. Usually it's unrequited love. Vemlan said that whoever likes Dapple and me, and has us like him back would be lucky to have us. It contradicted his earlier statement about the unlucky guy LOL. But it was actually sweet coming from him. Not cheesy, thank God. Did the PJK paper, using common sense instead of knowledge (because I didn't get to study..)

I'm not sure when she (creative person's name there) drew this...But it was hilarious, LOL. 
Started making jokes with Dapple, Mee En, Man Shen and Sin Yee about the eyes, eyebrows and everything. 
And yes, that's supposed to be me :P 
I'm just like what is going on with my mouth?!

Going to start exercising properly again. I stopped because I wanted to devote my time and energy to my exams (look how that turned out...) and I really want to go jogging/walking again soon. 

    Pow Wow camp is next week. I'm excited but also slightly apprehensive. There's actually an ICT class for doing assignments on Thursday (during camp) but almost everyone else can't make it too, because the teacher informed us last minute and most of us have already made plans for the holidays. Going to go shopping for camp stuff too.

Have a bunch of things to do before going to sleep, so byeeee!

Friday, May 16, 2014

The Liebster Award

Hey there! :)

(Need to stop sounding so drunk/happy in my blog posts. People are beginning to suspect that I'm not really emo, hahaha)

School Life:
Chemistry paper (1&2) was two days ago. Everyone's reaction upon seeing the paper : When did we even learn this?! Teacher told us it would be past year SPM questions..SHE LIED. I was so freaked out, I couldn't stop saying "Sheet" and Dapple said "No cursing! Remember?" Then I said "Okay.." Five seconds later: "PIECES OF PAPER!" *laughs hysterically* Just realized how weird this sounds, lol. Physics paper (1&2) was yesterday. Paper 1 (Objective questions) was surprisingly not as bad as Chemistry (It's usually the other way around) but Paper 2 was awful. I didn't leave any blank spaces but I wrote a lot of nonsense :P Sivik paper was today, and it was pretty easy (considering the fact no one teaches us Sivik now and no one actually studied for the paper) and everyone finished early. There was one question about qualities of a lifelong partner (as in future husband/wife) and I thought "All the blog posts I've written about this and nothing comes to mind now." So I wrote things like "Being responsible, caring, respectful, etc" Almost wrote "And who doesn't have a perverted mind." Then I realized I don't know anyone like that. HAHA. Wishful thinking.

After that, was Sejarah (History) Paper 2 (Subjective and 3 essay questions). Which I actually did study for, yesterday after tuition. *Sidetrack time* There were 12-13 people in Chemistry tuition yesterday. SO CLAUSTROPHOBIC (spelt it right, yay!). Usually there's only around 10 people (No one likes afternoon tuition classes, but the teacher is really nice so I don't mind it so much). It felt really stuffy and weird, haha. Me no likes a roomful of so many people especially when the room is small (-_-). I saw some people from Physics tuition and a guy who's been in the same tuition with me since Form 1 (and whom I've never talked to, despite the fact I spent a whole year sitting with his friends, LOL). I'm such an Ocean. *Back on track* Anyway, I didn't whatsapp or sms anyone, and replied to messages HOURS later. My friends got really sad and annoyed, like "Maine, why you reply so slow? Sleeping ah?" or "You sound so busy..." I'm so sorry for being an Ocean (again).

Fell asleep halfway through studying. Woke up and got annoyed at myself for falling asleep, and started studying again diligently. All for nothing because I barely remembered anything today. Why did I even bother scrawling down the notes and potential answers, when my brain wouldn't even work properly during the exam? *Shakes fist at sky* Some people commented on me looking serious/moody today because I wouldn't smile D: I didn't even realize I was being serious, I was worrying (okay, not really. I don't stress over exams much) slash thinking about the paper, I couldn't focus on anything else. And there was a brief Teacher's Day celebration, but it felt strange because it was just speech, speech and the end. Who is the genius who decided to celebrate on an exam day anyway? And whhyyyyy did we even HAVE exams today? (It rhymes) I heard some schools didn't have exams (-_-) Oh well, we'd finish exams earlier then :D

I smiled a lot after I finished my paper. I was thinking about the weekend (rest at last) and also "I am so going to die when I see the results I get.". Then an afterthought, "Yay, sleep!" And like a good girl, I went to sleep once I finished my paper. Everyone was taking short naps in between questions; like whaatt. Aren't you afraid you'd fall asleep and leave everything blank? (Which reminds me, I left some questions blank, haha) I woke up, feeling sleepy and like I wanna cuddle into a fort of pillows and blankets and sleep forever. Made eye contact with someone across the room while I was smiling and looking sleepy, his expression was hilarious. Like "What the carrots are you smiling for?" My bad.

The Mumblings Of A Mumbler
Oh, yeah and when I told my friends "Sorry for ignoring you, I was trying to study." Everyone's reaction was disbelief and ...."YOU STUDY?" First time for everything, guys, first time for everything. *falls off chair in laughing fit*. Keyword: TRYING. I took short breaks to play the piano, grab a snack, listen to instrumental versions of songs and took a quick nap once or twice. No wonder I can't remember anything, HAHA.

Don't you just hate it when you fall asleep and people start doodling words and things on your face? And making you a rainbow with highlighters? The smell of Sharpies, BLEGH. At least the highlighters had a fruity scent :3 (Still don't like having a colorful face though) But yeah, urgh, doodlers. Everyone's blogging again now. *Dances a happy dance* Well, almost everyone. Come on guys, I need more blogs to read, I like reading about other people's lives :D (Creepy stalker expression inserted here). I completely forgot about the age-cist part of the conversation I had with Dapple and Papaya (Mee En). So, would YOU date a guy younger than you? I would date someone born in the same year (most of whom would be younger than me anyway, the worst of being a girl born in January, HAHA) and I honestly don't care about age that much, but if it's someone really younger than me (and immature), I probably wouldn't date him. Lol, age-cist. But hey, different generations and all (O_O) Could always change my mind though. Papaya said it'd be more like taking care of a child, than dating a guy. *Wipes tears of laughter from eyes*

I bought a spiked headband :D

For RM 10. It's so gorgeous.

Ian saw it and commented that he pities my future boyfriend. "What if he tries to hug you? Then he'd be like OUCH, MY EYE, oh sheeeettt." Well then, he should know better than to try and hug me when I'm wearing it, LOL. Some guys from another class walked to my waiting spot with me today. They introduced themselves in English and I said "Yeahh, I won't remember your names. I'm so sleepy, I'll forget everything, hahaha." They asked me what's my name, so I said "Maine." and they said "But your name tag kata Teo Wern Lyn." I replied "Oh, that's my Chinese name." They just gave me blank expressions. HAHA. Someone asked me if I had a boyfriend, I said "No, malas nak layan dan sibuk nak jaga." (Too lazy to bother, and too busy to take care of one) LMAO, okay, maybe if it's someone I like then okay lah. Don't try to pair me up with your friends, please (O_o) *coughs* You know who you are *coughs* *Runs away, screaming in terror*

I'm completely missing the whole point of this blog post. (As always) So here goes! 

The Liebster Award
I was nominated by The Emo Wolverine Writes for the Liebster Award (Thank you so much, I *lessthanthree* you! :D) So go check out Catalina's blog! *winks*
(And yes, that's my handwriting when I doodle) 
(Scribbled it with a black Sharpie onto a blank piece of paper and edited the photo to make it look like this :D)
(Randoms words are nicknames, weird words and chocolates I like to eat)

11 Random Facts About Me:
1. I'm actually a really quiet and serious person (who has occasional hysterically crazy fits) but no one believes me when I say I am. *sighs* The funny thing is half of the people I know complains that I talk too much and never stop to take a breath, while the other half says I'm far too quiet and I should talk more often. I guess it depends on the people I'm with :) I'm not a shy person (anymore) but I do have difficulty talking to people I don't usually talk to.

2. I wear jeans and a normal t-shirt (or three quarter length shirt) with combat boots when I go out for sort-of important events/days , shorts and shirt when I go to normal hangouts/places, so you'd hardly (if ever) see me wearing a dress or a blouse and skirt, unless I feel like being feminine and all that :P I do like wearing dresses (because they're so prettayyyy), but jeans are far more convenient for running/walking and comfortable :3 People are usually shocked/amazed to see me wear dresses and skirts because well, it's like Halley's Comet. It only happens every 75 years or so. HAHA, just kidding. But seriously though, I get comments like "First time I see you acting like a girl." *Virtually punches that nitwit* and "I can't believe you're wearing a dress.." and I'm like "Sorry for being all tough and manly on a daily basis." HAHA.

3. I have a tendency to be violent. But only to those who pick fights (cari pasal) with me. If you don't bother me, I won't bother you. According to witnesses, when I'm really angry, all the blood drains out from my face (and their cold, dying bodies..just kidding), my eyes look dark and scary and I act like a gangster when I'm about to beat someone up. (Child of Ares, anyone?) I'm not really sure because when I lose my temper, everything's a blur. Funny thing is I'm friends with the guys who picked on me, and who I beat up in return now. It's strange how friendships happen. Most notable and memorable fight? The one involving broomsticks, a duster and shoes flying everywhere.

4. I love writing and reading! (Which is obviously, why I blog so much and stalk people's blogs) I write down almost every weird thought or any funny conversations/events that takes place because sometime in the future, when I'm old and maybe have a far worse memory than I do now, I want to re-read my blog posts, sigh and say "I used to be such a happy person." HAHA. Yes, I'm serious even though I just laughed about it. I want something which reminds me of the person I used to be, and am now, just to see how I've changed over the years. I write about a lot of things, but I absolutely despise writing mundane essays. It bores me, it bores the people who read it and I just hate it. Reading? I can read books all day (not boring reference books or textbooks, mind you) if I had the chance to :) Books for life. I'm really picky about the type of book I want to read. Writing style? Check. Interesting plot? Check.

5. Something I do without realizing it, most of the time, is conceal my Malaysian accent when I'm talking to people who attempted to speak to me in Mandarin *Shrugs*. It's probably because I feel slightly ashamed of the fact I'm a banana (only sometimes though) and I want to hide the fact I'm a Malaysian. I hate it when people look down on me for not being able to speak Mandarin and I don't like it when people speak Mandarin in front of me non-stop, ughh. I'm a lemoncist. (Lemons are people who speak Mandarin)

6. I have always been to co-ed schools. Never been to an all girls school before, and I don't want to :P I was discussing this with a friend the other day and she said that she couldn't imagine what school would be like without guys either. We're not boy-crazy, it's just that a school with guys is different, you know? The atmosphere and it feels different :) (also risk of getting teased and picked on, for me, is higher)

7. I'm hardly ever called Charmaine. Which is why I feel so uncomfortable and weird when people call me that. Everyone I know calls me Maine or Wern Lyn (Chinese friends and teachers). Some of my friends, despite the fact they've known me since Form 1, thought "Maine/"Charmaine was a nickname I came up with on my own/English name and didn't realize it's on my IC card until I showed them. So funny, omg, you weird fruits.

8. When people ask me what I want to be in life, I tell them I have no idea. When the truth is I have too many ideas. HAHA. Top picks? Something to do with writing, cosmetology (hair and makeup, because I'm apparently good at it), photography or music. Fallback option: Office job.

9. I love combat boots, cowboy boots and gladiator shoes more than high heels/flats/wedges and any other type of shoes. Also adore spikes and studs more than pearls and laces :P

10. I learn how to play songs on the piano through listening to instrumental versions, Youtube videos and spend a couple of hours staring blankly at the piano sheets before finally figuring out how to play it. My former teacher in Holland, Olja taught me to listen more carefully to how the piece sounds like and play with my heart instead of just attempting to play the piece perfectly. So that's what I aspire to do.

11. I like to think that I have an impassive and expressionless face, but people tell me I make weird faces all the time (I didn't even realize it..), the most notable one would be the "What the heck.." expression where I look half-amazed and half-confused and which is also the one people laugh at the most (-__-) I'm constantly terrified of people reading me (and my feelings..) like a book, but I'm kinda glad they can if they do, so I wouldn't have to explain it to them, HAHA.

Eleven Answers To Eleven Questions:
1. Q: What are your thoughts about your religion?
A: Frankly, I have, at one point, doubted the existence of God when I was going through a really rough time but then something happened to change my mind :) He pulled me out of the deep sorrow and depression I was going through and made me believe in life once more. I believe in Jesus Christ, the Trinity and I try to live by God's Word. Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough of a person to be a Christian. I used to be a really horrible, insensitive person who was self-centered and arrogant.

It makes me ashamed to think of who I used to be and I wonder if I'm a disgrace to God. I believe that what I say and do, reflects on my religion and who I am as a person; so I'm trying not to be what I'm not supposed to be. I feel like things have been changing over the months and years, but God has been the only constant in my life which I can depend on. I mentioned in a previous post, that the place where I feel God's presence the most is in the woods, late at night (I wasn't kidding). Why? Because city/town life is so full of distractions (musical instruments, Youtube videos, tv, books) and activities, I tend to forget to worship and spend alone time with God. Just praying, reading the Bible or thinking of Him. Sometimes I listen to worship/praise songs and I think of how He has shaped my life in so many ways and made me the person I am today. I'm going to church more often now, and I listen to the sermons, because I want to try to learn something from it to apply into my own life. I don't consider my religion, a religion. I like to think of it as a relationship with God :)

2. Q: Why do you think people like cats so much?
A: OMG, I think I've talked about this with someone before D: Okay, cats are lazy. They sleep a lot (all day, everyday, usually). They're affectionate (and some of them noisy..purring/meowing for attention). They're fluffy. They eat non-stop. They're playful and adorable. They come when summoned (at least to me). They're self-assured and know what they want. In other words, they're everything humans wish they could be. And they do everything humans wish they could do :P So to those who don't like cats, they're probably jealous of the lives of cats (they haz 9) HAHA, just kidding, don't take it personally.

3. Q: Which season is your favorite and why?
A: I would say Spring, because that's when the weather isn't too hot or cold, and it's windy and everything's growing and blossoming (plants, flowers). Also cute animals appear around every corner :D But I love every other season too, for different reasons.

4. Q: What made you start blogging?
A: I would say my love for writing :) And back then, in 2009, there were a lot of people blogging and I found it so fascinating, I simply had to join the blogging bandwagon. What made me stay blogging? I realized that blogging has shaped my life and writing skills, and it's a huge part of my life now. (Sides, what else can I do when I want to write and there's no other outlet to release the writer's frustration?)

5. Q: What's your favorite subject and why?
A: English, no contest (although ICT and Chemistry come in pretty close behind) Because it's the only thing I'm really good at and I love writing (repetition)

6. Q: What makes you really mad?
A: When people are being insensitive and hurtful, and when they say things which hurts my feelings and makes me angry.

7. Q: What's your favorite memory?
A: Can't really choose.. But I would say going crazy with a bunch of friends in class, shouting out random fruit and vegetable names and having intense discussions with them about relationships and the type of people we're into :) And then eating with some of my other friends who convinced me to eat kicap chicken, five meatballs and goodness knows what else in one morning, when I usually don't eat at all and gossiping :P

8. Q: What do you plan to do in the future?
A: Get married and have kids. HAHA (okay, you probably don't know who I'm quoting this from) Well, maybe lah. Mostly I want to be a journalist (or something similar) or have a job to travel the world or be an author.

9. Q: Robots or Aliens?
A: Robots. Because I have the feels for automatons :3 And I find them so cool. Also, I like watching shows about advanced technology, if I see a show about aliens, I'd probably get nightmares for a week straight.

10. Q: The most recent film you watched and absolutely love?
A: I have not watched a recent movie for ages. As in, the last time is probably last year. HAHA. Why? Because I can't focus my attention on things that lasts longer than the time span of one show's episode (even that, barely) and secondly, I haven't been in the mood to watch movies for a long time. If someone wants to watch a movie and asks me to teman (accompany) him/her, I would though, even if I have a short attention span.

11. Q: What fandoms are you a part of?
A: Percy Jackson, Heroes Of Olympus, Kane Chronicles, Harry Potter, Divergent (one foot in, one foot out), Grimm, The Big Bang Theory, JQ (Julia Quinn). (I won't add music fandoms, there's too many)

Eleven questions my nominees have to answer:

  1. What is your favorite nickname(s)?
  2. What is your opinion on your friends?
  3. Do you judge people by their personality, skills or looks?
  4. What is the most memorable event which has occurred to you recently?
  5. If you had to choose between never speaking a word again and never listening to music again, which would you choose?
  6. List down some of your favorite pastimes/hobbies.
  7. What is your opinion on the opposite gender?
  8. How would you describe yourself?
  9. What are people's first impression of you?
  10. What's your favorite place to be? (Beach, woods, ocean..not cursing, mind you)
  11. What is the worst thing that has ever happened to you?

And I nominate:

You no haz to do if you don't want to. But it'd be great if you do (more things to read, yayyy) so do do if you decide to do :D

I'm exhausted now. I don't think I realized how much till I finished this post. And I have tuition later, so byeeeee!

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

The Forgotten Challenge


Finally continued..

Hey there! :)

So I was going through my old blog posts from 2 years ago, looking for some photos. And I found the 30 day letter challenge which I've completely forgotten about. *Inserts sheepish expression* YES, I KNOW. It's been two blimey blueberry years. I'm just going to finish it up here. The whole challenge, mind you. One shot :)

Here's the days which I actually finished plus the intro:
30 Day Letter Challenge? Challenge Accepted
Day 1: My Best Friend
Day 2: My Crush
Day 3: My Parents
Day 4: My Siblings
Day 5: My Dreams
Day 6: A Stranger
Day 7: Ex Crush
Day 8: Favorite Internet Friend

And that's where I stopped. Omg, the guilt is killing me, HAHA.
Updates? My crush back then, is no longer my crush (Well obviously, it's been two years..) My post about my ex crush is now applicable to something which has happened recently (I can't believe it either) and the rest is more or less the same :) Just fyi, my best friend..I have more than one, LOL. So don't be offended that I didn't write about youuu. But I don't really use the term "best friends" more like fruity awesome friends..haha, cause I'm weird that way.

Day 9: Someone I Wish I Could Meet
This would most definitely be for...RICK RIORDAN. (Obviously, top favorite author..HAHA)

Dear Uncle Rick (since that's what the PJO & HOO fandoms call you),

Where do I even begin? I want to speak of my undying appreciation for the fact you created Percy Jackson and the Olympians, The Kane Chronicles and The Heroes Of Olympus. You introduced so many amazing fictional characters to me, whom I look up to and aspire to be. The guys? Percy Jackson, Carter Kane, Frank Zhang, Jason Grace, Leo Valdez, Charles Beckendorf and so many more. The girls? Annabeth Chase, Thalia Grace, Zoe Nightshade, Sadie Kane, Piper McLean, Hazel Levesque and more. You portrayed a hero's true courage, the selfishness of the gods, and somehow managed to combine Greek/Roman/Egyptian mythologies all into one :3 You made old myths and stories funny, and merge them with the present time.. Making it fun to learn about.

You introduced Percy Jackson to me. With his humor, wit and sarcasm, he encouraged me to discover who I really am. Percy started off as a guy who was obtuse and sort of insecure. And you made him a hero and a leader, inspiring millions of people around the world to forge their own paths in life. You wrote of sacrifices, the price of revenge and taught me so many life lessons..Like how sometimes it's more important to rely on one's instincts and gut feelings instead of jumping headfirst into battle. I still haven't quite forgiven you for tossing Percy and Annabeth into Tartarus and making us (fans) wait one whole year to find out what happens (-_-)

You made the most arrogant characters *cough* Sadie Kane *cough* likeable even though half the time, I felt like tossing her into the sea of Chaos (Carter, I feel your pain) for her overly confident personality. And I never thought I would find an ugly dwarf lovable, much less cry when he lost his soul. Also, you made it possible for those who have been enemies for centuries, to work together to defeat the evil Mother Earth. And get along really well. Not to mention, the redemption of Luke Castellan. And wows, to the fact you make Hercules unlikeable.. this has apparently, never occurred before, since Hercules is one of the most famous heroes of all times. And thank you for making me cry a bucketload of tears over the deaths of Zoe, Silena, Charles and everyone you killed off. It made me feel positively human.

Most of all, thank you for all the characters you portrayed in all your books, the lessons you've taught me, and for creating not just one, but three awesome worlds/camps to learn about :) You were and still are, the only author who makes me tremble with excitement when I hear about the next book coming out.

You showed me the characters insecurities and fears, not just telling me about what they did and didn't do, but you described their personalities and the deeper side of them too. You showed their strengths and weakness, their fears and hopes. Which is why they were some of the most relatable characters to read about.

"Go on with what your heart tells you or you will lose it all." 

Yay for Riordan! :D Oh yeah, thanks for all the awesome quotes.
How many books has it been? 14? (excluding the graphic novels) But WE WANT MORE.
I'm so excited for the Blood Of Olympus to come out..Even though I haven't started on the House Of Hades yet. *Sheepish face* But yeah, keep writing and being awesome! :D

Day 10: Someone You Don't Talk To As Much As You'd Like To
Oh this one. Well, if you're reading this, you probably already know who you are :P I don't know why we have so much to chat about on Whatsapp, but we can't say a single word to each other in person. It's probably because I don't know you as well, or as long as I've known other people and I'm socially awkward so I'm usually too chicken to initiate a conversation with you. Also, you're not like other guys. Meaning to say I've never beaten you up before or threaten to poke your eyes out with a fork. Oh, wait..I have. Most guys I know, it's easy to talk to them because well, you tend to bond with people when you chase them around with broomsticks and shoes. Yeah, so we don't talk as much as I would want us to. HAHA. I really need to work on my socializing skills. But hey, if you talk to me, I promise I'll talk to you (I won't kill you with my death glares, I swear) although I'd be extremely weird and awkward (as always..) And oh, we hardly see each other around too, LOL. Whoops. I might look serious and sadistic, but don't worry..I'm harmless (most of the time) so please don't run away from me like so many people do, okay just kidding! (Sort of) And that's it :)

Day 11: A Deceased Person I Wish I Could Talk To
I can't really think of anyone.. Except for my grandfather (on my mother's side).

Hey Kong Kong,

It's been more than 10 years since you've passed on. I remember you speaking to me in Hokkien (yes, I can understands it..sort of, lol) and giving me little snacks/sweets to munch on whenever we (le family) visited. I remember how you taught Ryan and I how to make paper birds and planes (Ian was a baby then..) and watched old Chinese shows with us. I don't remember a lot because you died when I was really young.. But I remember the little things like eating dumplings and curry-puffs with you and listening to stories of your life as a young man and a child. You doted on us a lot, and it never felt awkward with you despite our language barrier. You were a great person, and I never forgot the values and stories you've taught/told us. I don't think you ever called me Maine or Charmaine, did you? It was always Wern Lyn. Or maybe that wasn't you..haha. I can't recall because it's been so many years.

Your ever so banana granddaughter.

Day 12: The Person I Hate Most/Has Caused Me A Lot Of Pain
Honestly, I don't really hate I'll talk about someone who caused me a lot of pain.

Dear Pickles (I promised to stop cursing/saying dirty words, so here you are)

I know you've never liked me. We met when we were 14, and for you, it was hate at first sight. I never really understood what you disliked so much about me. Was it because I never paid you any attention and acted like you're insignificant to me? (because you were..) Or was it because you didn't like the fact I was close friends to the guys you liked, but who didn't like you as much as they liked me? (LOL, so arrogant, omg..slap me, somebody) You picked on me constantly, pointing out all my flaws (Yeah, I know I had white patches on my cheeks.. I'm not blind) and laughing at the way I walked..I never forgave you and the guys who mimicked me for that. It might sound silly but it really shocked and hurt my feelings. (Not so affected by it now, but still kinda annoyed) What did I ever do to you besides not attempting to make friends with you? Not everyone wants to be your friend, okay.

And last year, you spread rumors about me flirting around with guys and saying I was unfaithful to a guy who I have supposedly been dating for 2 years (What the apples,I can't have close guy friends meh?) by leading another guy on (Oh please, I'm not even capable of flirting) and generally tried to make my life miserable. And you succeeded for a while, until I decided not to give a damn (oops) about what people said/thought about me. I feel sorry for you, because you think that you have to make others unhappy to achieve your own happiness. Newsflash: Babe, trying to make others miserable only shows me what a sad life you have because you need to step on other people's heads to push yourself up the social ranks.

Yours truly,
The person you never liked.

Day 13: Someone I Wish Could Forgive Me
Dedicated to the friend I lost a long time ago. 

Hey, so it's been a while since I last spoke to you. How long has it been? 5 years? Honestly, letting our friendship fall to pieces was one of my biggest regrets. I want to apologize for that. The year everything fell apart, I was so lost and alone, I forgot to appreciate the friendship I had for so long. I took it for granted and now everything's changed. We were friends for such a long time, I never realized how much your friendship meant to me, till I lost it. Maybe it's my fault, because I was grieving so badly from what happened, that I pushed everyone away and retreated into my shell. Then we went to different schools, and hardly ever saw each other despite the fact that we live so close by to each other. I've moved on, made new friends and changed into a better person (or so I hope) but I never forgot about you, or the friendship we had. And I know you've moved on too. Which is great, but sometimes I wish we could be friends again. You were a huge part of my life, and now you're gone. I wish you could forgive me for the mistakes I've made, and the person I was back then. Hopefully, someday things would change. What happened to best friends forever? Forever turned out to be a load of nonsense.

The friend you'd forgotten by now.

Day 14: Someone I Drifted Away From
Dear L,

We were, and still are friends, but just not as close as we once were. Sure, we still go crazy and drunk on laughter when we see each other because our friendship never really faded away but it isn't the same anymore. I guess we've both moved on to different things and different friends; so things have changed. You're still one of my closest friends, but it's pretty obvious that things have changed. We barely have "Confession Sessions" anymore (even if we do, it's really brief..and this is a general term I use for sharing secrets and stories), you hang out with your other friends without thinking of inviting me (although you used to, haha, I guess you got tired of me saying maybe, maybe not) and I don't tell you everything anymore. So I guess we've drifted away from each other. I doubt you miss me very much or think of me often. But it's nice that we still get along really well when we DO see each other. You're one of the few people I can really show my insane side to and not run away, screaming in terror. I don't know you as well as I used to, and vice versa. I suppose it's partially my fault for avoiding all social interactions online and all, but at least things aren't awkward between us at all :) I'm grateful for that. Anyway, I appreciate you and our friendship even if it isn't as great as it once was.

Your ever distant friend, 

Day 15: The Person I Miss The Most
I don't miss many people, because I see most of them a well, this is for Charls then :)

Dear Charlene,

My cousin in Netherlands. I haven't seen you for about a year and a half, since I left Holland. I remember taking care of you when you were little, brushing your hair and attempting to braid it. You're the closest thing I have to a little sister :) Although I only see you about once a year or every two years because you live so far away. I miss spending time with you, playing the piano, convincing you that reading is indeed a fun endeavour, watching shows in Dutch and not understanding a single thing, walking in the park with you and dragging you around in a sleigh. You're coming to visit in July, and I don't know how I feel about it. Whenever you're in Malaysia, it feels like everyone is vying for your attention, so I just don't bother about you unless I'm the only one around. (Yeah because I'm not good at seeking attention, HAHA) Anyway, I miss you and I can't wait for you to come back.

Your sister from another mister,

Day 16: Someone That's Not In My State Or Country.
Refer to Day 15.

Day 17: Someone From Your Childhood.
Okay, I'm gonna dedicate this to Samuel. HAHA, only because I've known him the longest, compared to all my other friends. And I already mentioned my other childhood friend above.

Dear Sam,

Yeah, I know what you're thinking.. "Why the heck is she writing a letter to me?!" You said so yourself, we've known each other for a really long time. About 12-13 years, if I'm not mistaken. Urgh, the horrors of being childhood friends. HAHA. I remember you from Rangers, when I was 5. We were both in Straight Arrows, so small and adorable (perasan gila!) Your face hasn't changed much since then *dies laughing*..just kidding. I remember your mum being really awesome and nice to me too. During Cookarama, there was a bunch of yummy food laid out on the table, and I'm pretty sure you were one of the boys stealing the decorations to munch on, HAHA. I'm not even sure if you were in Rangers back then or not D: My damaged. And next, kindergarten. Somehow we ended up in the same one, LOL. Your mum used to give me sausages and little snacks on the way home (which was weird because the kindergarten is within walking distance of my house) and I remember a performance, an Indian dance where me, you and Sophie had to perform and wear green Indian clothing. Also recalled being taller than you (yeah, I'm showing off now) and I have the photos to prove it.

And during the "Sports Day" where we had to go into the tent and collect balls (sounds so wrong..) to throw into pails, I'm pretty sure it was you who accidentally trampled my foot (-_-). And cue primary school, where all of us ended up in the same place. Had to stand you for 6 days a week then, HAHA. Lucky we weren't ever in the same class. Because of school and then church. I remember seeing you in Sunday School, then in Rangers, then for 5 days a week. Too much, bro, too much! I started kicking you and the other guys when I was.. 10 or 11? Because that was when you, Nick, Soban, Isaac, and goodness knows who else, started picking on me and trying to make my life miserable (-_-) To be fair, you did ask for it. HAHA.

When we were 13, that was when the kicking stopped (because we were in different secondary schools then) and we started being civil to each other (we grew up and had more mature I thought). You annoyed me and frustrated me a lot because of how immature and weird you were (yeah, I said that, sorrryyyyyyy. No offense bro) And I think there was one time when we argued a lot about nonsensical things. Now, at 17, you've finally grown up and stopped being childish (don't be insulted, it's a compliment). We finally get along without wanting to kick/throttle each other and we're friends who talk a lot of nonsense with each other infrequently. Which is great because I was getting tired of wanting to attack you with a broomstick, LOL.

The person who terrorized you for years,

Day 18: Someone I Wish I Could Be
I'm perfectly contented to be myself.. But okay, hmm..

Dear Joy/Dapple,

My crazy insane friends, who don't even know each other *pokerface*. I don't wish I could be you, but I do wish I could have certain attributes that you have. Namely, your ability to befriend almost anyone and to be well-liked by everyone. It frustrated me because people are afraid of me because of my serious (don't laugh), deathly expressions so not many people are brave enough to approach me. I guess it's because you (both) have friendly faces and people gravitate towards you, which makes me so jellyyyyy. I wants to look friendly, but my face is naturally terrifying (which is also a good thing, because it scares away idiots) I wish I could be more like you in that sense. It's challenging to make new friends when everyone is too afraid to talk to me. And it's annoying when people talk to you, but give me the "please don't kill me" expression when I look at them. Anyway, I'm glad you're the way you are, because that's probably how we became friends. (Your tendency to be friendly and look friendly) and I'm still freaking jealous of you.

Me is crazy, 

Day 19: Someone Who Pesters My Mind (Good or Bad)
Umm.. Who pesters my mind the most? (O_o) I have no idea. Hmm.. Recently then.

Dear Random-Person-Who-Pesters-My-Train-Of-Thought,

I was thinking about something someone said about you, yesterday in school, during the Moral exam. It wasn't anything bad, but it certainly complicated the way I thought of you. And also kinda distracted me from my Moral paper (-__-) Yeah thanks, HAHA. Okay, now I'm pissed off at you for messing with my brain during an exam. I guess there's always a hidden side to a person, that you'd never really figure out. And then I thought of Frank Zhang (HOO) and how alike you are to him. It always surprises me when I find out that other people have insecurities and difficulties in their personal life. Not because I don't expect them to have any, but because I never stop to think about how it affects them. Okay, never is a strong word. I just mean that I hardly ever get involved in other people's problems, unless they're really close to me and when I have a say in that matter.

And then I thought about you again. And wondered if my perception of you is muddled up, and if I really know you at all. And I couldn't focus on my paper, HAHA. And yeah, so my brain was messed up from wondering if I often have wrong perceptions of people and if I ought to have my brain scanned from being so distracted during an important test. I talked to my friends later and it seems like everyone was thinking about something else during the exam, so it must have been something in the air that day :P

The ever so distracted person,

Day 20: The One Who Broke Your Heart The Hardest
Dedicated to Air...

You know what you did last summer (LOL, reference this, anyone?). I'm just kidding. To be honest, I never cared enough about you to have my heart broken. Yeah, that sounds evil but it's true. I think I convinced myself into believing that I actually had any feelings for you because we were close friends and I thought that I could care. But you destroyed any chance of anything happening by what you said and did. It really hurt to hear you dissing me for mispronouncing some words because I was nervous during that presentation (We were friends once, did you remember that?). But mostly I wanted to stab you with a fork. HAHA, yes I'm sadistic. You caught a lucky break, the day you decided to be a coconut tree, and escaped the wrath of hell's fury. Can you imagine what would have happened if we actually had dated and broken up? I would have attacked you and set your hair on fire (If you had done something wrong, which you probably would have). You hurt me for the longest time, upset me, made me cry and made my life miserable. And I still missed our friendship then. But I don't give a flying berry anymore because you're just not worth it :)

Somebody that you used to know,

Update (23/12/15): Reading this again after more than a year, I see things differently. When I wrote this, I was in denial about my feelings because of how much it hurt to remember everything that happened between us. Looking back, I finally noticed all the signs that I missed and I know now, that I wasn't completely innocent in this either. I made a shit ton of mistakes too. I'm sorry, I wish things were different then.

Day 21: Someone I Judged By Their First Impression
First impression of who? Of me? Ummm...

I can't think of anyone. I know most people's first impression of me is:

  1. Serious.
  2. Sadistic
  3. Confident/Arrogant
  4. Quiet
But I've never judged them for what they thought of me. Because it's mostly true, LOL.

If the question means someone I judged based on my first impression of them, I can't think of anyone (O_o) either. Oh wait..

Dear S, 

The first time I met you, I thought you were an outspoken, confident and *hamsap* guy who liked to pick on girls. I was right. 

The end. 


(Hope you have fun in whatever state you are in now!)

Day 22: Someone I Want To Give A Second Chance To

Again, I can't think of anyone who has wronged me and whom I want to give a second chance to.
So can I skip this or blabber nonsense? D:

Dear Second Chancer,

I want to give you a second chance to right whatever wrong you have done to me. Although I don't know who you are..

The weird one,

Day 23: The Last Person I Kissed
Have not, kissed anyone, for years. If ever. HAHA. I can't even recall past occurrences now. Even if I did, it probably didn't matter so much to me because I can't even remember it now. If I could kiss anyone now, I would kiss myself. *crazy laughter* I'm joking, please don't take me seriously or think I'm insane.

Day 24: The Last Person That Gave Me My Favorite Memory
Too many memories to choose from, but okay..latest one.

Dear Blank-Blanket,

Thanks for the free meal, use of your phone to play games and keeping me entertained while I waited for someone to fetch me home from you-know-where (no stalkers please), HAHA. And for keeping me company while I was bored and alone, even though you wanted to go back home early because you were sick. Didn't expect to come across you that day, but I'm glad I did because we hardly ever get to hang out together (we never did before that) and I'm surprised that we got along pretty well despite the fact we hated each other's guts two years ago *coughs* (Not my fault) *coughs*. How times have changed. Oh and thanks for the free iced chocolate from Starbucks, LOL, I wasn't serious when I said I wanted to grab a drink from Starbucks and that I was broke (okay, this is true..splurged my money and wallet was thin). It was nice, even if I felt guilty for making you belanja me, HAHA. I haven't seen you as often since last year too. I'm glad we got to hang out, even if we aren't really that close, LOL.

Sort of friends? 

Day 25: A Person I Know That Is Going Through The Worst Of Times
I don't know anyone who is.. seems like the only problem now is exam stress. HAHA.

To anyone going through a tough time,

I send you virtual cookies and a hug, also a note that says "Don't be bothered by bloated durians and pieces of papers" :D

Yours truly,

Day 26: The Last Person I Made A Pinky Promise To
That would be Dapple.

Dear Dapple,

I'm sorry I couldn't hold out on our deal and stick to the Whatsapp fast although I was the one who initiated it. HAHA, I'm so sorry D: I just miss talking nonsense with you too much.

-Maine, the Mumbler.

Day 27: The Friendliest Person You Knew For Only One Day

To the girl who kept me company during the cross-country running discussion, you were one of the friendliest person I know and I didn't even get your name (O_O) Because we were so absorbed in talking about past experience with running and sports and everything that we didn't even think to introduce ourselves. HAHA. But yeah, thanks for talking to me and being all friendly although you really didn't have to :D

Day 28: Someone That Changed Your Life
I can't dedicate this to just one person, so yeahhh.

To anyone who has ever affected my life in a positive way, and made me a better person, you're a fantastic human being and you deserve a jarful of cookies, and to top it off, a pizza too :D But you have to imagine getting it, because I'm broke and there's too many of you. *laughs insanely* Thank you for everything you've done (or not done) and for helping shape me into the person I am today. You rock, like seriously.

Day 29: A Person That You Want To Tell Everything To, But You're Too Afraid To
This person, does not exist. HAHA. I'm far too straightforward with people I'm really close to, I can even tell them I'm jealous or angry with them (which is probably how some situations gets so awkward) I think about 3-4 people knows almost everything about me (yeah, I'm that trusting..Hope I don't come to regret it D:) and understands me, and who I am.

Day 30: My Reflection In The Mirror

Hey you.

Yeah, you with the pinned up bangs, pimples on your face and serious expression. Who cares if you're brain damaged or if you have serious issues with staying focused? (Well, you and I do) So people might think that you're too serious (I can literally hear my friends laughing at this, in my head) and arrogant, but the truth is, you are. But that's not all you are. I guess you have a multiple personality disorder, where you can't decide who you're supposed to be. But that's okay, you'll be fine. (I feel weird talking to myself now, so I'm just gonna stop)

- The real image.

And yes, this challenge is FINISHED.

I just recalled a conversation with someone (A.R.), and I started to remember exactly why I stopped going to church last year. It was because I already started feeling left out back then because I didn't have anything to do. And he told me that he was going through the same thing then and I was like "Dude, we're like living parallel lives." HAHA, means that things happen to us simultaneously. It's probably my fault for not going (but really, go there and do nothing? -_- no thanks) but I'm trying to make an effort to be more involved now although it isn't easy. Try fitting in again with a group of people you haven't been around in a long time. And not understanding the latest inside jokes and all. I'm starting to realize what "True success requires sacrifice" means. And it's also quite obvious that everyone sort of treats me differently since I've been back (Prodigal son..), and I'm not sure what to do or how to act. It's sort of annoying to see everyone constantly on their phones and not paying attention to the sermon at all. I might check my phone a few times, but I put it away too and actually make an effort to listen. You know where I really feel God's presence? In the middle of the woods, late at night. No joke.

Everyone has to handle life's bull-tosh, I get that. And I'm dealing with a load of it right now. It is possible to feel alone and out of place even if people are talking to you.. It's not easy being socially awkward and not looking like someone who is. People expect me to be outspoken and confident all the time, but I'm not. Not really. I have serious issues with speaking, I have had them for years. That's sort of what happens when you have your nose stuck in a book too much. You forget how to socialize with people. What was it that Hephaestus said? "I'm not good with organic life forms." It might be easy to say just make an effort, but it's not so easy to do especially for introverted people like me. If you ask anyone; they'd tell you that growing up, I was the silent, brooding kid (because my brother was so noisy, I couldn't get a word in edgewise, HAHA)

I remember something a friend said to me last year, when we just started becoming friends. She told me it's hard to believe I have problems with talking to people because I look and act confident. 'Like you don't give a damn about anything." HAHA. I guess I'm just good at putting up a confident facade. And I'm not really shy. I just don't know what to say to people. If someone talks to me, I'd talk to them. I don't think anyone would really understand unless they're exactly like me.. LOL. Try looking at someone in the face, your tongue literally tying up and your mind going blank and try saying something that isn't stupid like "You..ummm..uhhh..mumble mumble." I'm trying to change, but it's not easy. It's even harder to do when people tell me it's not that hard to be sociable. Well, not hard for you lah. It's not the same for me. I've always been the quiet one. ALWAYS. I'm only noisy when I'm drunk or high (on non illegal substances). What's it they say? You can change a person, but you can't change his nature? LOL what does that even mean? (-__-) I can't help being the quiet one, I can't just suddenly turn into that noisy, outspoken person who isn't afraid to voice her opinions. I'm always far too careful about hurting someone's feelings or insulting people, which is probably one of my biggest flaws. I think before I speak, fudge me right? HAHA.

So many people I know are really direct and far too honest about their thoughts/feelings for other people. They don't even realize what they say can be hurtful or mean, they just let it slip out. I used to be like that, and gosh, the number of people I must have offended. D: Don't be afraid to be honest, but think about how the person in question would feel about what you're going to say also lah. PEOPLE HAVE FEELINGS TOO.

Sometimes I wish I looked shy and like less of a threat. But I'm sort of grateful for it because guys are terrified of me because I look scary, HAHA. And almost everyone I know tells me I have an arrogant face, which makes it difficult for other people to approach me. But I can be friendly and nice, if I feel comfortable around you.

Anyway, it's inconsequential now.
I know how Valdez feels now at least, so I've got that going for me which is great. LOL. 
OMG, I can actually relate to a book character for the first timeeee. Oh wait, no. But yay, LEO.
I'm being ridiculous again. I don't know whyyyy.
Okay, I'm drunk. Ignore me.
Shut up, me.

P.S. Yuyie said "'re thin already." when I came back to school after being sick.I went "Wait, so I was fat before?!" and everyone started laughing. HAHA. I'm not offended lah. 

Saturday, May 10, 2014

30 Day Challenge: The Things You Might Have Known.

Hey there!

I was going through some old blog posts and found some challenges I didn't complete/start :) So I'm going to do one now. I found the 30 day letter challenge, which I did up to Day 8. Going to finish that when I haz the time :P Not in the mood to write a lot now unfortunately. (Edit: And look how long this post turned out to be..)

Exams have been.. not stressful, per say, but most definitely a headache. I'm worried about Add Maths, I'm pretty sure my whole paper will be left blank. HAHA. Oh well, bugger that subject anyway. I know, you're going to say, aren't you supposed to be studying? The thing is, I can't study too early, because I end up forgetting everything anyway. Which is why I study last minute a lot, lol. Besides, Tuesday is a holiday so I can study for Physics and Chemistry then :D I had the most marvelous nap after I finished my English paper. The few times I woke up, I saw most of my friends/classmates snoozing too, HAHA. Sejarah (History) paper 3 was an open book test, and I'd already gotten the complete answer essays, so I just copied it down. But 8 essays, really? My hand was cramped/numb afterwards :'(

Paper 1 of English, the first question asked to write an article about leading a healthy lifestyle for students. . I blabbered on and on and came up to 545 words (Yeah, I counted that one) The second question, so many interesting options to choose from. Most people chose the one which asked "If you had three wishes, what would they be?" But I spotted one stating write about an essay ending with  "And they never heard from him again" I was intrigued. So I chose that, and wrote about a guy who got hired by a couple to manage their finances, spotted a painting from the Victorian era, had it appraised and discovered it was worth millions, thought about stealing it (but he didn't) and unable to bear the "Should I steal it or should I not?" dilemma, he left after sending the couple a letter about what he discovered and almost did. And they never heard from him again :P (All in 7 paragraphs...) Isn't it confusing? I was going to make him steal the painting, but I already made him sound like a decent person, so.. (-_-) LOL, when Mee En (she chose the same question) asked me what I wrote, I said "It's a long..long story." She wrote about a family gathering, where her grandfather went to get something and got into an accident. It's funny how different people come up with such different stories/situations D:

I have the Pow Wow 2014 checklist, which I printed from the website :D If you want one, give me a holler on Whatsapp..which I couldn't stop myself from using -__- I'm sorry, I just like chatting with people too much. The silence was killing me. But I held out for almost 2 days, achievement! Just found out I need to send in a permission slip because I'm still under 18..and I'm a commander (on a break) I'm baffled. HAHA.

I bought two personalized name necklaces recently :) One in my Chinese name, another with just Maine. Chinese name one got delayed, so here's the one I received already.
I'm actually slightly disappointed with this. There was a misunderstanding about having a crystal placed at the dot of the i, and they quoted the price for a normal one -__- Sigh. Oh well. 
Sorry for the less than awesome photo quality, I used my phone camera :P

Came with a box.

And a cloth for cleaning it :) 
But overall, I quite like it, so yayy. 

I bought a french side comb from Diva for only RM 3 *starry eyes* 

If you know me, you'd know I've been in love with eagles since the Heroes Of Olympus came out.
Especially ones which look like this :3 
I'm looking for a necklace like this now. 
Anyway, I'm going to use this for keeping back half of my hair :D Like a faux side shave? 

This is GOLD. HAHA. 

I'm sort of missing the point now. This is supposed to be about the challenge, LOL.

30 Day Challenge: What Do You Want To Know?

1. The Difference Between Your Personal and Internet Life.
- I talk a lot to people (whom I like) IRL, and I'm moderately sociable (although I can be withdrawn at times) and friendly (perasan gila), also I get high on oxygen a lot and terrify people who don't know me (although sometimes I can be that serious, moody person you'd avoid). On the Internet, I avoid all social interactions (Facebook, Twitter, etc..yeah no thanks), never chat with anyone and stick to websites like Youtube, 9gag, Goodreads and Tumblr (and blog a lot) so that I won't have to talk to anyone. But I do whatsapp people :) People frustrate me with their stupidity sometimes.. and I can't deal with their blueberries.

2. Five Not So Basic Things About You.

a) I have a tendency towards madness and sudden mood swings. (Like one second, I'd be laughing and the next, scowling at everyone)
b) I can't read chords (at all..on the piano) and I can barely read piano sheets. But I still play the piano.
c) I can finish a 500 plus pages book in one day if I feel like it, and I'd ignore everyone when I do so because I'd be too absorbed in the story.
d) I read romance novels, mysteries, crime fiction and mythology based books, but I only watch comedies and crime shows on television.
e) I adore chocolate chip cookies, seaweed, bakwa and mint chocolate :3
f) I think I'm an introvert (sometimes..usually..almost) but I also like being around people (I like) and having social interactions. So I'm confused. I guess I'm stuck in the middle :)
g) I can't count very well, hence the fact there's more than five facts here. HAHA.

3. What Are Some Things You Have Trouble Doing?
a) Mathematics (in all forms), I have a problem with numbers.
b) Reading musical sheets/chords.
c) Sewing.
d) Putting on mascara and eyeshadow (-_-')
e) Meeting new people (or people I haven't seen in a long time)..cue the awkwardness.
f) Focusing on my studies.

4. Seven Signs That You're Into Somebody.
a) I'll have difficulty talking to him (but this also applies to other cases..sometimes it's because I can't stand you, LOL..or I feel awkward around you)
b) I'd be extremely careful about not getting too drunk or crazy in front of him. (Don't want to scare him away *dies from laughter* TOO LATE)
c) I might avoid him and talk to other people more. (Also applies to people I don't like..unfortunately)
d) I'd hardly mention him at all to other people (weird I know) because I'm afraid they'd dissect my feelings (-__-)
e) I get jealous when, you know. Dot dot dot...
f) I stalk him on Facebook. (Oh wait, I don't have Facebook)  Just kidding. I wonder about where he is and what he's up to? LOL. Okay, makes no sense.
g) I try to make him jealous. (Yeah, where's the logic in that?! HAHA, that's just what people do to see if there's any effect on the person in question.)

5. What's Currently On Your Mind.
- I'm wondering if I should eat cookies :3 And I'm pondering my opinion about jealousy and its origins. Also wondering about feminism, chivalry and the whole hoo-haa (and my own opinion on it) Wondering if I'm weird for saying "You bet your berry I will!" to my brother. Also, why didn't I finish the letter challenge? HAHA. OMG it's been a long long time.

And this:

I do this by taking everything in a positive light. HAHA. If I hear something insulting, "Okay, I'll take that as a compliment even if it wasn't meant to be one." And I appreciate constructive criticism, you learn from it.

How times have changed..I never had crushes and fancies till I was 12/13. I was far too focused on other things :3 The thought of dating at 10 was absurd. But then again, different generation now.

For those of you who ask me why I re-read books all the time and re-watch movies :P This is why.

It difficult to confess your feelings for someone. You don't know what happens next. But it's not easy for the person you confess your feelings to, either. Sometimes it completely blind-sides them, and all the questions come up "How would this affect our friendship if I reject him?", "What if what I say hurts him?" and etc. It's never easy, you know.

6. Who Are The Last Three People You've Had A Crush On and How Long They Lasted?
- Honestly, I didn't really have a crush on anyone last year (I was too much in love with fictional characters :3 .. Hello, Percy Jackson). Just randomly admired (yeah, you can admire people without falling for them) some guys but I never really thought about them when I didn't see them. Last year was the year I avoided all social interactions, only hanging out with people on the spur of the moment.

Crush No. 1, it was Voldermort (He had no nose..I found that attractive. Just kidding, it's a reference to someone I liked then) who was really more of an infatuation. You know when you look up to someone and you sort of wish you had their talents/personality then you somehow fool yourself into thinking you like him? Yeah that. It lasted for maybe, idk, years? IKR. HAHA.

Second crush was someone..I'll call him Air whom I liked because we teased each other a lot and we were good friends. Almost turned into something more but due to some misunderstandings and complications (well, pieces of paper happens, you know?), we ended up not talking for months and now we speak infrequently. (Curse crushes sometimes..they can ruin friendships) I call him the best thing that never happened to me :) And there's no more feelings there anymore. It's like everything that happened made me realize what a huge mistake he would have been, so I'm grateful for the fact that nothing ever happened. Feelings lasted for maybe 4 months, till I realized he was a jerk and a coconut tree. But the damnest thing is that I still miss our friendship, but I don't miss HIM.

Third crush and the latest? GUESS WHAT? I don't have one...yet. HAHAHAHA. I'm still looking for him. Or maybe I found him, like him and don't realize it yet. LOL. Sounds like I'm fishing for a crush (-_-) I amuse myself with my inaneness. Any volunteers? JUST KIDDING. Which reminds me, I asked dad when I could get a boyfriend. He said "When I die." Whaattttt..don't you want grandkids? LOL, okay, maybe not when I'm 17. But I'm kidding. I'm not looking for one. I wouldn't mind if he turned up though. *Laughs insanely*

7. Things That Make Me Happy
a) Happy music like "Smile" by Uncle Kracker, songs by Kris Allen/David Archuleta, instrumental versions of songs, Avril Lavigne (yes, she makes me happy), Love Somebody by Maroon 5, and you get the gist of it.
b) Reading books. Of course. Especially books by Uncle Rick (Riordan) and Julia Quinn.
c) Shopping :3 Be it alone, or with friends or family.
d) Playing musical instruments and crafting (Hobbies in general)
e) Cooking..then eating what I cooked.
f) Getting high on oxygen and drunk on Chinese tea.. because I don't do illegal substances.
g) Being around people I like.
h) Going crazy with my friends.
i) Organizing my stuff. Yeah, I like doing that.
j) Learning a new song to play on the piano.

8. Type Of Person I'm Attracted To 
(Me no has a significant other..sads)
- I'd like a guy with a sense of humor and who can be sarcastic but not in a rude, annoying way (E.g. guys who purposely insult people with hurtful words and say "I'm just being sarcastic!" Correction, you're being an ass) . I don't care about height/weight/looks/race but I do care about religion *pokerface* a bit. I like confidence, but not arrogance. A person who is self-assured, knows who he is and what he wants but who doesn't think too highly of himself. A guy who isn't concerned about outward appearance, and cares more about someone's personality.

 I'm not attracted to anytime you ask him to do something or go somewhere, he'd say "Don't want..lazy." (-__-) Nike told you to just do it! Get off the couch, you potato! A guy who isn't biased about people's taste in music (because I have weird taste in music..) and who isn't afraid to tease people. Also, other factors like loyalty, honesty, kindness..etc. Those matter :P This might be odd, but I like guys who are too shy to talk to girls they like. HAHA. My friend Cauliflower (You know your own name, sweetheart),  acts so normal around the girl he likes, you wouldn't believe he likes her, even if he told you so himself. When I found out, I said "Oh psshhhh. Don't lie to me." and he had to keep insisting it's true, LOL. I still don't really believe him. Meh.

One would ask, what about musical talents? Brains? Etc. To me, those things don't matter nearly as much as personality so I wouldn't comment on that. On another point, height? Taller than me? Shorter than me? My height? I don't really care. Maybe it'd be kinda weird if he was shorter than me, but I wouldn't care if he is :P Unlike some height-cists, cough *dapple* cough. Weight? Don't really care also. HAHA. I kinda like tough looking guys more than lanky ones. Just personal preference really. Looks? Hmm.. I don't know. I guess I would have to find him at least moderately attractive? But again, doesn't matter. Race? I'm (thankfully) not racist.. I've liked people of all races before LOL. Skin color and culture, I don't judge people by that. But if he tries me make me eat pork... *Grabs virtual shotgun* Oh, and also someone who is open minded to strange ideas and things I'd want to do, like piercing my cartilage :P I butt heads with my Mum a lot because she's more conservative and I'm more liberal -__- Don't want any arguments like that.

Conclusion: I'm attracted to guys who like me for who I am, and who won't try to change me (okay, maybe change my lazy attitude and social awkwardness, but that's it. HAHA).

Edit: Oh, also a guy who wouldn't mind being beaten up. LOL, I jokes.

9. Four Things You Wish You Could Say But Might Never
a) I feel awful for being such an ocean to you 2 years ago. If I could take it all back, I would. Sometimes I feel like apologizing just isn't enough.
b) I think I'm a failure in most things, but I've just simply stopped caring because it hurts to feel like one.
c) I love my friends. I really do, but sometimes I feel like I'd much rather be left alone. But I get annoyed when I'm left out of things..Me is bipolar. HAHA.
d) Sometimes I wonder if my happy personality is just a facade to hide the fact I'm broken and damaged inside. But a part of me says it's just me being bipolar.

10. What Are Some Things You Hate That People Do?
a) Cracking knuckles. It's like fingers running up my back (-_-)
b) Spitting everywhere.. This explains itself. Don't mind the spitting so much, but don't do it everywhere lah, eww.
c) Go through drastic measures just to avoid me. Hey, if you don't like talking to me because I'm a banana, then don't.
d) Laugh at me for not speaking Mandarin and making fun of the fact I don't use chopsticks. Why so judgmental? Then you say I'm being a showoff for getting good marks in English.
e) Poking me in the ribs/sides. I swear, if you do that again, I'll poke your eyes out with a fork.
f) Tickling me.. I hate being tickled.
g) Trying to convince me to learn Mandarin. Hey, didn't you think I've already TRIED?
h) Make kissy noises to get a friend's attention. The sound is just..
i) People talking too much, when they should be quiet. Newsflash: I actually want to study sometimes.
j) Being called a teacher's pet because I never get punished for doing things other people do (because I'm such a good and quiet student..LOL kidding). It's not a nice title to have.

11. Do You Dream Often? Describe One Of Your Dreams.
- Not very often these days. One of my most memorable dreams of late: I went to school, dressed up in my uniform and arrived extra early. Then I realized I forgot my backpack and all my textbooks. HAHA, my worst school related nightmare is that exactly. When I woke up, I had to double check to make sure I remembered everything. Kind of relieved it never happened. *Wipes sweat from brow*

12. How do you feel about making friends over the internet?
- I think that it's nice to connect with other people and hear about their lives, but one should also be wary of the monsters waiting to predate on people.

13. Three favorite words
a) Blimey
b) Blueberry
c) Ocean

14. What Gives You Every Day Inspiration?
- Looking at the world with an optimistic perspective, in the best light possible.

15. Do You Believe That Teenagers Can Fall In Love?
- I believe they do, but it's staying in love that's the hardest part. Also, it's easy to mistaken a close friendship or infatuation for true love, especially when you long for it so badly, you're willing to believe any semblance of feelings is love, although it may just be friendship or a little more than that.

16. How Has Your School Life Been Throughout The Years?
- As a student, I'm partially lazy, partially hardworking. I do homework, schoolwork and revision but I'm always dreaming in class. (If I'm not dreaming, I'm not doing homework..LOL)Primary school was more or less a blur. I remember getting involved in co-curricular activities, dancing performances and kicking (tormenting) guys who pick on other girls or on me. Going to the shops to buy hot cup noodles (tom yam!), hanging out with my best friend at that time and going through a rough patch when I was 11/12 because of personal difficulties at home.

Secondary school was scary at first. I chose to go to a school where I knew no one from primary school, but managed to find a group of friends pretty quickly. And got bullied by wannabe gangsters, but I fought back as usual. When I was 13, it was mostly about self-discovery and finding out who I really am. I was a really quiet and unconfident person back then because I didn't know who I was, or what I wanted in life. Changed to a different class the next year, where I met Jihah and when we became close friends :D (Despite the fact we both thought we would have nothing in common with each other). Slept a lot in class, and constantly complained about not being able to see the whiteboard. Usually sat in a group with Jihah, Shawn, Way Jie and Yee although the teachers weren't too happy about it.

And as usual, we got into trouble for fighting in class and wrecking havoc -__- Can't stay just friends with guys, usually end up in tussles and kicking wars. Was also pretty close to Careen and Yi Wen, although I spent more time with Jihah. Other girls in class were friendly, but more hardworking and focused on studying :( So unlike us, HAHAHA. When I was 16, the class streaming began. I entered a sub-science class, and met a ton of people who were awesome, friendly and as lazy as I am :D So now in class, no matter where I sit, I'd always have someone to talk to, yayyy. It's great to have a class where everyone can talk to anyone and get along really well. I don't talk so much to the Chinese guys though, and group of Indians students, mainly because of 1. Language barrier and 2. They sit really far away from me, so I hardly come across them, lol. 3. Also, they're like one big gang, I feel quite awkward approaching them, HAHA. I met Dapple, Mee En, Man Shuen and reconnected with old friends. Jihah and I are still in the same class, but we can't sit together anymore because teachers say we talk too much -__- *Sobs* But we still get to talk and disturb each other whenever possible.

So this is how my school life has been, and still is :)

17. Do You Have Any Pets?
- Yup, about 7 cats. HAHA. CAT LAYYDDEHH. But 3 of them are just visitors. So I really only have 4.

18. Describe Your Favorite Place In The World.
- Me no really haz one? Any place where I can listen to music and read to my heart's content :)
(Oh oh, or Avillion Port Dickson! :D)

19. Is it easy for you to trust others?
- Not really. I only trust a handful of people with my thoughts/secrets. I don't have trust issues, but I'm wary of who I tell things to, because some people just can't keep secrets..or they judge you for what you tell them about.

20. Do You Have Any Daily Routines? Describe Them.
My Sunday routine (because it's the easiest)

  • I actually list out the things I plan to do, wear and bring to church the night before/in the morning. (Too organized, maybe?) So that I won't forget anything.
  • I get ready for 9.15 am.
  • I go to church at 10.30 am (or later) and hang with my homies in service. Or wait for them to finish p&w in SS. 
  • Go for lunch and nom nom nom until 1.30 pm. 
  • Then I tag along with the others for Expedition Rangers or go for Adventure Rangers as a commander or just chill with some friends (or just one) in the foyer. 
  • I go home, eat plenty of food, play piano and get things ready for school then I snooze. 
It sounds so simple and uncomplicated when I put it that way D:

21. Movies That Make You Cry.
- Honestly I can't even remember the last movie I watched. But I remember crying during the Sea Of Monsters because they made it so different from the book series, the disappointment was too much to handle :P

22. Your Favorite Movies.
- Once again, I don't really watch movies. But I adore White Chicks, Rush Hour (series), Tangled and all those shows from forever ago *laughs weakly*

23. Six Things In Your Room That You Love.
a) My floral crown
b) Collection of dresses
c) Stack of piano sheets
d) Rick Riordan book series :3 
e) Makeup stash
f) Accessories stash

24. Post Your Tumblr crushes
- If I had any...which I don't, so blank this! :)

25. Things You do On A Rainy Day
- Cuddle into bed with a book, listen to music, snuggle a cat (not in bed) and sleep after burrowing under my blankets. 

26. Draw Something And Post A Picture.
This is a negative of a photo of a drawing I did a long time ago :P too lazy to do one now.

27. What features you get complimented on a lot?
- My hair, expression, legs, posture and smile. 

28. Something You Would Like To Change About Yourself.
- My proneness to having pimples (-_-) The bane of my existence. HAHA. 

29. What's One Thing You Would Like To Change About Your Life?
- Ruined friendships.. Those are my biggest regrets. 

30. A recent photo of myself.
Yeah, I'm cheating by reusing the photo from two posts ago :P 
Ain't gonna take a selfie now! 

I'm wearing a dress to church tomorrow..Assuming that I actually go (if I'm not too lazy, LOL) because it's the Mother's Day celebration tomorrow. And I lost all my jeans (-_-) The only ones I can find don't fit me anymore because I've lost weight. Also barely any t-shirts left to wear, haha, I'm making myself sound like a poor thing, because I am :P 

I'm really tired now, this post drained out a lot of my energy and I want to watch Youtube videos, so...

Till next time!

Read me!: When I'm Gone
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