Thursday, June 19, 2014

Three Days Posts: School

Three days post! :D (Skipped Tuesday, because I was napping..And Friday because it's still Thurs)

Thursday (19 June 2014)
Status: In a relatively good mood.. Extremely sleepy.
I'm being optimistic! :3

   How was school today? Well, I arrived at exactly 7.30 a.m. (which was apparently "late") and had to write a karangan about why studies are important to students before they let me go back to class. (Erm, isn't that obvious enough already?!) I was pissed off. How is it my fault that I'm supposedly late for school when I rely on my parents for transportation? -___-

   There was a fire drill, 20 minutes before recess. We (Mee En, Dapple, MS, me) didn't even realize it was a fire drill. HAHA. Didn't hear the bell ringing from the ICT lab and our teacher was taking her own sweet time to leave, so we didn't know what was going on..Urgh, the horrors of sitting at the back of the class.

   We rushed to the field, feeling extremely embarrassed and really wanted to laughed. Later on, teacher commented on how long it took us (whole school) to get to the field...13 minutes! (which means we took about 20 mins..we were the last to arrive) and said if there was a real fire, we'd all be doomed. Honestly, if it was a real fire, do you really think we'd walk slowly or fastly? We'll RUN like crazy and push everyone else out of the way. The rude students lah. HAHA. The polite ones (like me, lol I jokes) will be like "Oh no, you go first!" and waste time arguing about who should go first. The normal students will be walking fast, glancing around and thinking "I'm stuck in a school with lunatics. Got fire, also act like that. What the carrots." I doubt they'd say "WTC?" but everything else, definitely.

   The weather has been so hot these days. I feel like a bun in the oven (see what I did there?), baking for eternity. That's why I've been napping a lot. Finally passed up my Add Maths project *pats self on the back* after binding it. I received 9 compliments (some indirect) on my hair today. The funniest one was when I was in the bookshop, one girl (who was also late today) commented in BM, "Now I know why she's late." Her friend asked her why, she said "Sebab dia guna banyak masa untuk toncang rambut dia" (She used a lot of time to braid her hair). I looked at Dapple, she looked at me and we started laughing. It doesn't take me a long time to braid my hair, so it's funny when people assume it does.

    Sasitharan and his friends yelled compliments at the back of my head (so I supposed they were talking to my hair, not me) until I started laughing and walked away really fast. Pavithra and her friends, Aqmal, Azlina and some other people, either said I was crazy for spending so much time braiding my hair or said I was "damn pro at it". I'm crazy, no doubt about that.

   Spent most of Maths and Add Maths, writing, then snoozing, then writing... You get my point. Thought I'd had to be alone today, because Fad didn't come to school (now I know how Jihah felt for all those years...), but Aqmal, then Syukrie, then Faiz teman-ed me. I'm touched. HAHA, just kidding, but seriously.

   I'm honestly glad that my class is friendly, and mixes around with everyone. Or I would be forever alone, with friends (if that's possible). MS has a scar (from stitches) on her leg. She injured it during dancing (?) a couple months ago. Aqmal said Faiz gave it to her, Daps and me said "Whatttt?" Then he said something about vampire's love bite. I laughed really hard, and said "I thought vampires bite necks, not knees?' Aqmal said Faiz is a special type of vampire, who prefers biting knees. "WHAT THE HECK?!" was my exclamation before collapsing with laughter.

    I'm going to school on Saturday. Yeah, whhyyyyyy?
 This may be my favorite gif.
Can't skip it, because my ICT class is spending the whole day, finishing up on assignments until 12.30 p.m. It's going to be a loooonnggggg day. 

   I'm looking for new blogs to read (Thank you Google) :l I'm a nosy person, so it thrills me to read about people's life experiences, even if it's completely normal. I feel restless and..not exactly bored, but I feel like I have nothing to do. Which is crazy, because I have a list of things I have to do and haven't done yet and which I plan to do as soon as I have the mood for it.
Wednesday (18 June 2014)
Status: Feeling almost normal today. Only I feel like there's a weight on my chest (Add maths, I'm looking at you and blaming you for this) Just kidding. It's probably my cat, HAHA.
I'm tired of feeling like I've lost a part of myself. 
So now, I'm going back to find it. 

   I had fun in school today. Went a little crazy with Dapple, Mee En and Man Shuen, laughed and poked fun at each other. Fitri commented on my split ends (the horror), I put on an injured expression and I asked her "Why you so mean to me?" *wipes tear from eye* Everyone (Nab, Jihah, Laily, Fitri) started laughing at my expression. Oucchh. Mee En asked me how I know how to spell my Chinese name, I told her I had a secret weapon (LOL, you know who you are) and I kinda already knew what it looks like from taking Chinese classes.  

   Then we started talking about Chinese names and how it's pronounced and written. She said MS' name is really hard to write and wrote it for me, so I asked her what the Chinese pronunciation was like, she said "Same like how you normally pronounce it lah." I said "Whaaatt? WHAATTT? But the spelling so difficult!" Then we started laughing. 

   Thought I'd be spending recess time with Dapple, ended up being surrounded by a group of people from all sorts of classes. Mee En and MS were sitting behind us, with another girl. I sat in a group with Dapple and two more girls from Moral class, and we talked about exams and stuff. They started talking about World Cup, and I just spaced off because I don't like watching sports. HAHA. Serious. Mei King came by and we started talking about movies, because I saw her at the cinema a few weeks ago. Planning to hang out someday :D (And who said I don't socialize? Oh wait, I did. LOL) 

    Bro said there's something wrong with me because I keep playing depressing songs on the piano. It's not depressing, it's touching and emotional. (Keep telling myself that, HAHA) I wanted to exercise yesterday, before starting on my folio. But I fell asleep on the couch, slept for 3 hours. Woke up and had to start on the blasted folio :/ 

   I've done most of the written work, I just need to do questions now. And look, at this:

We were actually required to do this. 
Most of my friends made the "I Love Additional Mathematics" sign.

   Oh the lies we tell. I'm just kidding, don't take me seriously. 

   Dapple says I'm an Ocean for starting an impromptu Whatsapp fast -___- I haven't been online since Sunday at precisely 6.30 pm. Feeling proud of myself for my self-control and dedication to napping doing schoolwork (Yeah. I can't believe it either). And also a little guilty, because I didn't inform anyone I wouldn't be replying to messages. Five days, 2 and (most of a day) down, two more to go.

   Actually enjoy going to school, I just hate waking up so early. Oh well :)

Monday (16 June 2014)
Status: Ignored, annoyed, irritated, rejected and hurt...also happy and exhilarated at the same time.
- You don't want me in your life, I get it.
- But feelings can't be ignored, no matter how unjust or ungrateful they seem.

"What's wrong?"
"Tell me how you feel?"

1. I'm sick of feeling like I'll never fit in anywhere. 
2. I'm tired of being left out of things all the time and feeling ignored because no one ever thinks of including me in things. 
3. I'm terrified of having an emotional breakdown someday soon. 
I'm worried about how tempting it is to die.
4. No matter how much I try to be socially acceptable, I just can't. It might be arrogant to say it's because I'm different, but it's true. Then again, everyone's different. 
5. I wish I could go back to the way I was last year, when I just didn't give a damn about anyone. I was happier that way.
6. I feel angry because it seems like my "friends" don't give a damn about me at all.
7. I can feel my walls building up again, and my heart hardening. It's happening all over again. I anticipate the numbness and the longing to hurt myself just so I can feel something again.
8. I tell people how I feel, but no one cares. 
9. You apologize, but then you do exactly what you said you'd never do again.
10. I want to curse and swear so badly, but I know I'd hate myself even more if I do.
11. I've turn off my phone because I want to be alone and not have anyone trying to cheer me up, because it hurts so much more when they just disappoint me again. 
You probably have other people to talk to, so why should you care? 
12. You'll never hurt me the way they did? HAHAHAHA, guess what? You already have.
13. I need a hug. 
14. I miss someone. When one of the rare people who I can to talk to and ask advice from is thousands of miles away and we've drifted apart -__- life sucks.
15. A part of me actually cares about my studies. And worries, constantly about it.
16. I feel like a beaaaccchhhh for pushing people away when I feel hurt and being cold to someone. But I can't help it, because I know it'll hurt more if I let them get closer to me.
I'm sorry I bother you with my friendship.

17. I want to walk away and never look back. But I'm afraid I'll regret it, like I did before.
18. I wonder if I still care about him, even when I know I don't. It's just hard to remember that sometimes.
19. Please, just stop lying to me. STOP.
20. Why can't we stop fighting? :l We're supposed to be friends, but we seem to irritate the hell out of each other. 

You know what? Just go pick some berries. In the Underworld. With Cerberus. And maybe take a dip in the River Lethe. Oh wait, you don't have to, you've forgotten all about me on your own already, anyway.


Obviously, I can be very bitter. 

Why I'm happy and exhilarated/ just plain normal?
1. It's a relief to be back at school, and see all those familiar faces again. I missed you idiots and fruits. Also a great distraction from thinking about donut-holes.
2. I finished four essays in three hours yesterday even while feeling so bitter and resentful.
3. My friends, are hilarious. And I've missed them.
4. Tumblr quotes and stories can be so hilarious and relatable. It just makes me smile.
5. Learning Almost Lover (A Fine Frenzy) on the piano and it's surprisingly easy. 
6. Slap Me Why Don't You? has hilarious stories about online shopping. 
7. Rereading books.
8. Listening to music. 
9. Ryan Higa gifs...ROFL.
10. English teacher allowed those who've already passed up their essay books to do whatever they like. So I took an awesome nap :3
11. I know I'm not the only one who deals with all the problems I face. Makes me feel less alone.
12. Someone's sense of humor and sarcasm cracks me up. And for a while, the pain dissipates. 
13. I have four kittens (kinda, sorta newborn..?) and they are adorable :3
14. I'm finding happiness in the littlest things.. Like someone being thoughtful enough to not eat my snacks.
15. Laughed at the random things which happened in school today..Like 2 crazy friends making a Mentos fly across the classroom and going "eermmmaagggosshhh, I'm so, so, SO SORRY. (because that Mentos was mine) I love you guys
16. Relatives visiting on 6 July, and I can't wait for the trip to the beach :D
17. Teacher said I'm alim (religious) when I told her I couldn't make it to the computer assignments class because of church camp. It was funny when she said it was a good thing.
18. I might be arrogant, but at least I admit to it :P

Till next time!


Say something , I'd really appreciate it! <3

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